and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
