Define "chronic" masturbator.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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