just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize