Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize