apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
