I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
