You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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