i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
