There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
