yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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