Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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