soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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