"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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