shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize