My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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