So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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