at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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