He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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