You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
