Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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