I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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