Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
