...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
