then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
we're so committed to being not committed
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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