am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
