you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
