And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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