no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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