At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
only you would photoshop your dick
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize