Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
