I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
