five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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