There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
is it fun? or sober?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
