yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
as a side note pls kill me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
