god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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