I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
