there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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