so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
