Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
