I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
