im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
