i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
