I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
