apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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