Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
