Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dear god my vagina.
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