yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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