oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
