Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize