Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
