D3 body, D1 cock
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
