I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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