dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
