She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
