brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
