Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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