We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
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I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
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I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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